Howl's Moving Randomness
by Phantom666
Summary: This is a crack fic crossover of a bit of everything. Some YOAI. Rated to be safe. Mary sue bashing. Absolute hilarity. Read for a laugh not for a angsty we fic. Rated  to be safe


**Title**: Worst Fan-Fiction Ever

**Author**: Ben Arthur Spyder

**Chapter**: Haurn no Marisuu Shiro

Note: Author notes

(JAN) Joanna

(AAN) Angela

(BAN) Beth

This story was not only written by me. Joanna is the prime writer Me and Angela add in parts here and there but Joanna is mostly the mastermind we just contribute some madness.

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing except Marian …… I don't want to type her whole name

WARNING: YES WE KNOW ABOUT ALL THE MISTAKES THIS FANFICTION IS SUPPOSED TO BE HORRIBLE AND STUPID. IT IS MEANT FOR HUMOR PURPOSES. IF YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR LEAVE NOW.

"OH MI GAWDS" Cried Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz, "I lurv u." She stood on Howl's Doorstep. (JAN Does it matter which one?)

"Ohmgawds!!! I lurv u 2!!!!!!!1 And I can lurv u and not any other girl b/c of the curse Ur Special!" Screamed Howl (BAN: yea special Ed.) bewitched by her beauty. He brought her into the castle where they planned their happily ever after.

Once inside she sat down in front of the fire.

"Ur so HOTTT!!!!!1111" Screamed Calcifer from his grate. Markl ran up to Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz and asked, "Will you be my mother, please?"

Sophie who was sitting next to our heroin, was so captivated by Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz's beauteous beauty that she murmered, "Clearly you are a better match for Howl because you are insanely beautiful and not the eldest, I am old."(BAN: Isn't that a spell?) She promptly scooted into the broom cupboard. "Bring that stool back." Snapped Howl, flipping his gorgeous blonde hair. "Marian Ann…. Wait I don't know her name yet, needs a better seat." The stool was ejected from the closet, and though the castle never got dirty, Sophie was never heard from again. Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz sat down and began to tell the sad and tragic tale of her life.

"My full name," (BAN: Not more T.T) she sobbed, "Is Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz Karu Uchiha, I am the long lost half sister of Sasuke Uchiha and therefore have undefeatable ninja skillz, with with full sharingun at the age of 10. I am also half vampire-demon-robot-angel and therefore an outcast from society. (4 ½ s?) My eldest ½ brother Uchiha Itachi destroyed my ninja clan and I was forced to wander the wastes for pi long years. Due to my half breedness, all shunned me. …… Did I mention I'm afraid of spiders?" said Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz Karu Uchiha.

"I'LL GET THEM." Screamed Markl jumping up and seizing a broom from nowhere.

"Rubbish" answered Howl, "It's my castle, I'll kill them." He wrestled the broom from Markl's hands. Both scrambled up the stairs on a mission. Once Markl's tiny feet disappeared up the stairs on a mission the Witch of the Waste (AAN: Bicked Bitch of the Baste) (JAN: of the Paste!) burst through the door. She pointed her finger menacingly (AAN: medicinely) in the general forward direction and opened her mouth. It looked as if she was about to demand Howl's heart again until her eyes fell on Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz Karu Uchiha's beauteous beauty. Instead the Witch sobbed, "Let me taste your blood, O beauteous one!" (A/N: We did not come up this line 'Tis a direct quote from the 2nd or 3rd book of Vampire Hunter D.)

"Wrong book." A disembodied from the door exclaimed. (JAN: Maybe she was heard from again) No one seemed to pay the voice any mind.

Just then, a dark clad figure walked gracefully into the doorway. The Witch of the Waste turned to face the new entity. Once her eyes beheld the beauty of the dark tortured youth she overloaded and exploded. (JAN: It rhymes! RAAAA!) A new figure came from the flesh filled darkness. A shirtless man in his mid-twenties came in. Scars covered his upper body but both forearms were smooth. Blonde hair flying, he flung a metal spike into the right eye of Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz Karu Uchiha. (AAN: Ichiha!) Her other eye glazed over at the sight of the dark clad beauty. Then from an overload of sexyness, Marian Ann Ruby Starr Saffire Umbriel Topaz Karu Uchiha promptly explodinated "Mission is complete." Said the blonde. A voice rose from the dark man's left hand, "What mission! You killed a random woman by stabbing her through the eye!"

Howl and Markl, who had just descended the steps stopped wrestling for the broom. (J/A AN: lol, bad grammar) The spider webs hung from their clothes. They asked "She's dead?" Howl looked like he was about to cry. Guilty looks flashed on everyone's faces. "…………..No?" a voice said questioningly.

"Good"

So that's the first chapter of this randomness. Read and Review if you want.

I'm sorry if you felt your time has been wasted. The second chater will be up when I finally push myself to type it out.


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